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    Invelos Forums->General: General Discussion Page: 1 2  Previous   Next
Teenagers
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DVD Profiler Desktop and Mobile RegistrantStar ContributorBad Father
Registered: July 23, 2001
Registered: March 13, 2007
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Kids do the darndest things.

My teenaged son (19 yrs) has been living with me since July and he has demonstrated a serious addiction to playing video games on my PS3. He would play all day from when he got up and into the wee hours of the am...I've caught him playing at 3:00am. He sleeps until 3:00-4:00pm sometimes and gets right back on the PS3. I've asked him several times to cut back on his game play with no luck. I've even resorted to taking away the PS3 for a number of days in the hopes that it would modify his behavior but as soon as he got the PS3 back, it was back to the same old routine. Well, I finally got fed up...if he's going to act like a stubborn child then I'll just have to treat him like one. I purchased a Video Game Time Management System, the "BOB TV Time Manager" and connected it to my PS3. I set up a Master User Password and then set up my kid as a User with the only restriction being that the Management System shut off the PS3 between the hours of midnight and 8:00am every day. Everything seemed to be working out great until this morning. My son gets up at 7:00am, peeks into my room to bum a smoke off me and goes downstairs to have a bowl of cereal and coffee. I go downstairs around 7:55am and see that he is playing Call of Duty-Zombies online on the PS3. I look at my watch again and, yes, it's still not 8:00am. WTF!?!? I look at the BOB TV Time Management Console and the Master User light is lit up. WTF!!!!!! I look at my son and ask him how he managed to turn on the PS3 using the Master User Password. At first he was hesitant to tell me but then admitted that he saw me enter the Master User Password through the reflection off the TV screen when I first installed the system. That little SOB!!! For the past week since I installed this thing he has been playing the PS3 after the scheduled Block using my password...and here I was thinking all this time that he was being a good kid. I swear the kid's a dumba$$ though. If he had only waited until 8:00am for the block to be lifted, 10-15 minutes, I would probably never have caught on.

Needless to say, I sent him out of the room, reset the Master User Password, then set up a second Block for today so that he can't play again until tomorrow morning at 8:00am. He's now sitting on the living room sofa sulking and probably scheming up another way to defeat BOB . Damn teenagers.
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DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar Contributorhuskersports
Registered: September 29, 2008
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Which is precisely why I don't play any gaming system.  I'm afraid that what's happening with your son would happen to me.  I'd be playing all the time, neglecting my 3-year-old son, and that's not gonna happen. I hope that by the time he's aware of video games/gaming systems, he won't want to play all the time.  In moderation, it's fine, but 12-14 hours/day?  Kids need to get outside more.
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DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantShinyDiscGuy
Registered: March 10, 2009
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Don't take it lightly. This addictions while not generally accepted by the governing body of psychology. Are highly destructive as they will distract from the more pressing matters of life, and daily life in general.

While not as serious as internet, or the highly destructive porn addiction. It is possible as the root of these problems are usually from underlying depression. Which itself is caused by an underlying problem.

Once the video game addiction don't give the same high as it used to. It could manifest into something more destructive, like the addictions as stated above.

The US does have a fantastic amount of treatments available though to beat these addictions. Seek help and seek it fast.
 Last edited: by ShinyDiscGuy
DVD Profiler Desktop and Mobile RegistrantDr. Killpatient
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Registered: May 19, 2007
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My son's a gamer too. What I've told him a few months ago is that if he doesn't go outside to play, he gets extra chores around the house.

I may have to up the amount of chores.
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantBlair
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Registered: October 30, 2008
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It's becoming more and more of a serious issue. Overly excessive Internet or gaming time can diminish certain social skills and even cause vitamin D deficiency since our main source of D comes from direct sunlight.

Without getting into the "video games make kids more violent" debate, playing games can be an addiction with negative effects like any other.
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DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantShinyDiscGuy
Registered: March 10, 2009
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Quoting Blair:
Quote:
It's becoming more and more of a serious issue. Overly excessive Internet or gaming time can diminish certain social skills and even cause vitamin D deficiency since our main source of D comes from direct sunlight.

Without getting into the "video games make kids more violent" debate, playing games can be an addiction with negative effects like any other.


Anything that can release dopamine in the brain, and  if you a mental health problem that predisposes you to addiction. Are highly vulnerable.

The uncomfortable issue though is in events where the addiction leads to a criminal offence. In the case of porn addiction this indeed is something society will find hard to swallow.

Given how the majority of ppl are still in favour of a very punitive justice system.
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar Contributorscotthm
Registered: March 20, 2007
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Quoting 8ballMax:
Quote:
Damn teenagers.

After reading your story, I have no sympathy.

---------------
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorLewis_Prothero
Strength Through Unity
Registered: May 19, 2007
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I don't very often agree with VirtualScot, but in this case I'm afraid I have to.

The behaviour you describe is either that of a video-game-junkie or of a completely bored guy with nothing else to do.

He's 19!
Isn't he supposed to be in college, or at least have a decent job?

Restricting the gaming times and thereby inducing withdrawal symptoms that only strengthen the addiction is possibly not the best way of breaking the habit. Probably better is to give him something else to do he might be interested in (no, not "mow the lawn", "bring out the waste", "clean your room", etc).
It all seems so stupid, it makes me want to give up!
But why should I give up, when it all seems so stupid?


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DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantShinyDiscGuy
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Quoting scotthm:
Quote:
Quoting 8ballMax:
Quote:
Damn teenagers.

After reading your story, I have no sympathy.

---------------


Me to. I have no sympathy for ignorance. But i always like to bring up the debate of addiction, as i have a personal interest in it. I was addicted to video games for about 18 years, and suffered from a mild gambling addiction.

I have met many ppl addicted to drugs and other substances. There so much much misery pored on ppl who really don't deserve any more.
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantGrendell
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Registered: May 8, 2007
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Quoting scotthm:
Quote:
After reading your story, I have no sympathy.


Me neither. He's worried about his son playing video games, but not about him smoking. And calls him an SOB on top of it.

I'm creeped out.
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DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorKulju
Registered: March 14, 2007
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Quoting Silence_of_Lambs:
Quote:
He's 19!
Isn't he supposed to be in college, or at least have a decent job?

I was shocked by this too Playing video games seriously isn't his biggest problem.
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorKulju
Registered: March 14, 2007
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Quoting 8ballMax:
Quote:
Kids do the darndest things.

Thats very true, but your son isn't a "kid" anymore. And for the record, in cases like this I don't think the problem is kid(s), but the parent(s).
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorOldMan56
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Registered: March 26, 2009
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My three Kids all knew the rules. you have 2 choices school or work my house my rules if you feel you can't follow them than your address will be Street, no Discussion. My youngest is 30 now and the way things are today he thanks me for being strict and giving him a good work ethic.
 Last edited: by OldMan56
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar Contributordee1959jay
Registered: March 19, 2007
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Max, I think you should get professional help for your son.
http://www.video-game-addiction.org/video-game-addiction-treatment.html
http://www.tellinitlikeitis.net/2008/11/video-game-addiction-symptoms-and-treatment-of-video-game-addiction.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_game_addiction
http://www.techaddiction.ca/
http://www.olganon.org/
DVD Profiler Desktop and Mobile RegistrantStar ContributorBad Father
Registered: July 23, 2001
Registered: March 13, 2007
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A little background:

My son isn’t from the US. He is from Madrid, Spain where he has been living with his mother for almost 20 years. He speaks very little to no English. He came here to the US in July for a 2 week vacation but asked me if he could stay here for a few months so that we could get to know each other. I was a little hesitant at first because, since I work full-time, he would be stuck in my little apartment alone all the time but he said he was fine with that…so I said yes. Over the last couple of months we have grown closer and often engage in friendly ribbing. He calls me the fat gay hippie and I call him…well, we won’t go into that . Oh…I’m not gay. Not that I have anything against gays…I have family and friends that are gay…but I’m not. Just cuz I’ve lived alone for the past 15 odd years and have no girlfriend…I’M NOT GAY, DAMMIT!!! I could stand to lose a few pounds though.

Any ways…

Perhaps I should NOT have said that my son was addicted to video game playing. I don’t think he is. He’s just bored.  He doesn’t have a driver’s license…or a car…duh…so he’s pretty much “land-locked” so to speak.

I really only told this little story to show how my son circumvented my attempt to cut back some of his video game play…but I guess I ruffled a few feathers in doing so.

Quoting scotthm:
Quote:
After reading your story, I have no sympathy.


I’m neither looking for nor want your sympathy

Quoting Silence_of_Lambs:
Quote:
The behaviour you describe is either that of a video-game-junkie or of a completely bored guy with nothing else to do.


Yes…he’s completely bored. There’s not much I can do about it during the week though as I work full time and he’s alone in the apartment. I’ve encouraged him to go out…ride my bike, take walks, go window shopping downtown. Unfortunately there’s not much to do or see in this little town. On weekends we do go out…to the cinema, the beach, fairs, car shows and such.

Quoting Silence_of_Lambs:
Quote:
He's 19!
Isn't he supposed to be in college, or at least have a decent job?


One might think that, wouldn’t one? But my son has no desire to go to college. He wants and plans to be a firefighter like his uncle…which I wholeheartedly support and encourage him to do. When he goes back to Madrid in January his uncle is supposed to set him up with that. He had a job here up until last Friday but they had to let him go because of…wait for it…the ECONOMY! Although they felt he was a great asset they could no longer afford to keep him. We’re currently looking for another job for him but it’s not looking good.

Quoting VirtualScot:
Quote:
Me to. I have no sympathy for ignorance.


Once again, I’m not looking for nor want sympathy.

Quoting VirtualScot:
Quote:
But i always like to bring up the debate of addiction, as i have a personal interest in it. I was addicted to video games for about 18 years, and suffered from a mild gambling addiction.
I have met many ppl addicted to drugs and other substances. There so much much misery pored on ppl who really don't deserve any more.


I’m glad to see that you’ve obviously kicked your habit. I too had a problem with alcohol and finally decided to quit about 7 years ago…haven’t had a drop since then. I have a lot of experience with family member’s addictions and co-dependency issues. My nephew, up until 2 months ago, had been jailed for methamphetamine possession and credit card fraud…he was released early due to overcrowding. He and his live-in girlfriend lost custody of their baby because of it. My sister, the child’s grandmother, has been raising their baby for the past year. My older brother is an alcoholic and has almost died twice due to his addiction. He’s been sober for a couple of years now…way to go Bro . I have other family members, cousins, with drug and alcohol addictions…but we won’t go into that. So, yeah, I’m not ignorant to the issue of addiction.

Quoting Grendell:
Quote:
Me neither. He's worried about his son playing video games, but not about him smoking. And calls him an SOB on top of it.

I'm creeped out.


What can I say? I forgot that sarcasm isn’t allowed in these forums . My son is trying to quit smoking and I’m trying to help him. He peeked into my room to try to bum a smoke but I never said I gave him one…did I? He’s 19…almost 20. If he wants to smoke he’ll smoke. The “SOB” comment was just some of the ribbing my son and I engage in but of course you weren’t aware of that. Sorry I “creeped you out”.

Quoting Kulju:
Quote:
Quoting Silence_of_Lambs:
Quote:
He's 19!
Isn't he supposed to be in college, or at least have a decent job?


I was shocked by this too  Playing video games seriously isn't his biggest problem.
Quoting 8ballMax:
Quote:
Kids do the darndest things.


Thats very true, but your son isn't a "kid" anymore. And for the record, in cases like this I don't think the problem is kid(s), but the parent(s).

Ahhh…thanks soooo much for your insight .

Quoting dee1959jay:
Quote:

Max, I think you should get professional help for your son.
http://www.video-game-addiction.org/video-game-addiction-treatment.html
http://www.tellinitlikeitis.net/2008/11/video-game-addiction-symptoms-and-treatment-of-video-game-addiction.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_game_addiction
http://www.techaddiction.ca/
http://www.olganon.org/


Thanks for the links dee1959jay .
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DVD Profiler Desktop and Mobile Registrantmediadogg
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Registered: March 18, 2007
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Here is an idea: volunteerism.

There are many elements of the community that could use help - kids who need to learn to read (in Spanish), tutoring in math or computers, older people who just need a friendly face to come by and visit - the list goes on and on ...

History is filled with accounts of intelligent people, bored with the 'ordinary", who turned out to be "extraordinary" once they found a cause to motivate their enthusiam and creativity. Perhaps your son is one of them?

Best of luck to you.
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 Last edited: by mediadogg
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